Living Out Loud

Make the world a better place

(a Thought for the Week)

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Free Hugs

 

"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world."  ~  Anne Frank

 

"If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, and then make a change."  ~  Michael Jackson

 

"You must be the change you want to see in the world."  ~  Mahatma Ghandi 

The A - Z of Happiness: D is for . . .

Deliberately create your day

Believe it or not, it is possible to radically alter how you feel without changing your circumstances and here is a simple technique to help you do this:

 

Each morning, before you dive head-first into your day, think very clearly about how you want your day to be, and most importantly how you want to be during the day.  If you want, you could even write it down in a small notebook - I did when I first started practicing this technique - so that you can handily refer to it later in the day whenever you notice you're no longer centred in that place of being. 

 

But whether you do it in writing or in your mind's eye, the most important thing is that you decide how you want your day to go, and then focus on that for at least a few minutes before you get started.  The more energy you can put into these thoughts, the better your day will be.  

 

So if you normally spend your journey to work thinking “Ugh, I have to do x and meet y, and I’m tired and stressed", or other thoughts along those lines, try going over and over in your mind your new script instead:

“Today I get through my workload productively and effectively. I’m relaxed and confident and I capably deal with every situation whether it is planned or unexpected.  I feel great all day and enjoy what I’m doing and the people I’m interacting with.”

Substitute the above for whatever you want from your day and be amazed at the difference it can make.

 

When I first tried this technique I was in a very sceptical place.  But I was also so miserable at work that I figured I had nothing to lose.  So I opened my mind just enough to give it a go.  I had such an amazing day it really blew my mind, and I have never looked back : )

 

Try it and see for yourself! 

Detach from your Desires

"Life is a tide; float on it.  Go down with it and go up with it, but be detached.  Then it is not difficult."  ~  Prem Rawal

 

If you could let go of all your attachments you would also let go of the source of much of your unhappiness.  Attachment to our desires is about more than our material desires, but also our emotional and spiritual desires.  It's attachment to how we think things should be, or how we would really like them to be. 

 

It can be attachment to the idea that we have to have full physical health in order to be happy, or that we have to be sad for a time if someone we love leaves us.  While these ideas may seem logical, it actually doesn't have to be that way.  These are merely beliefs.  And, as discussed in B is for... they rule our lives, BUT they can also be changed if they don't serve us well.

 

The concept of detaching from our desires is one I am constantly working on, but I see time and again how important it is to my happiness.  Having desires is not an impediment to being happy - it is natural and normal, and is what gives us impetus to get out of bed in the mornings and live our lives.  But being attached to having our desires manifest is a very real obstacle - to our happiness, and in fact to the manifestation we wish for.

 

Attachment is an obstacle to having what you want in your life, because it is resistance to the way things are unfolding.  And what you resist persists.  When you cling to the idea that you cannot be happy unless things happen in a certain way, then you are closing down other avenues that could lead you to where you ultimately want to go.

 

To be happier and more content, no matter how things are unfolding, the approach to aim for is preference: 

Live your life fully - today!

A Thought for the Week

 
"You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land, there is no other life but this." ~ Henry David Thoreau

"Live life so completely that when death comes to you like a thief in the night, there will be nothing left for him to steal." ~ Unknown

 

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."  ~  Helen Keller

 

"We don't have endless days. We have today." ~ Unknown

photo by Tony Crider

Don't be afraid of making a mistake

A Thought for the Week

"The most valuable thing you can make is a mistake - you can't learn anything from being perfect." ~ Adam Osborne

 

"Do not fear mistakes.  You will know failure.  Continue to reach out." ~ Benjamin Franklin

 

photo by Kiskisbreeze

 

"After all these years, I am still involved in the process of self-discovery. It's better to explore life and make mistakes than to play it safe. Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life." ~ Sophia Loren 

 

"What would you do if you weren't afraid?"  ~  Spencer Johnson

 

The Game of Life June 09

New here on my blog, The Game of Life is an ezine I have been sending to subscribers via email for three and a half years.  To receive your copy direct to your email inbox click here.

This edition is focussed on surviving and thriving during difficult times.  It's inspired by the global economic crisis that is causing widespread stress and despair, and so there are a few resources that focus directly on dealing with being unemployed right now.

However, "difficult times" aren't limited to financial hardships, and can apply in every area of our lives.  So, there's also some resources that look at dealing with difficult situations in general.  I hope you find something of use to you.

Read on...

"We’re living in a time where nearly everyone is  feeling overwhelmed with the changes and problems in the world.  Some of us feel stuck, uninspired and fearful. Others have suffered major losses and feel hopeless and helpless.  Some people find ways to thrive even in bad times. They refuse to fall into 'the sky is falling mode'.”

In this post Tess of The Bold Life outlines no fewer than 77 ways to lighten up in tough times.    And here she provides a list of the simple joys in life that money really and truly cannot buy.  Just reading it will give you a lift. 

Life is like climbing a mountain!

"We’ll stumble along the way in life.  Our ego’s will be bruised.  We might be broken financially or emotionally.  Yet, that doesn’t mean we’re finished, or that our mountain peak isn't attainable." 

In this post Lance from The Jungle of Life beautifully describes the various life lessons we can gain from this metaphor.  If it feels like you're climbing a mountain right now, you may find some solace in this.

Meditation is the perfect antidote to stress! 

I am just a few weeks away from being certified (hopefully) as an instructor in primordial sound meditation, and I believe that meditation could actually be the perfect solution to all of the worlds ills!  It's a big claim I know, which is probably why I have yet to blog about it! 

Whether you'd go along with such a huge claim or not, there is plenty of scientific evidence as to the wonderful benefits of meditation.  And happily, Roger from A Content Life has posted a wonderful six part series on meditation for beginners.  

There are many, many different ways to meditate, and how you do it isn't really important.  We don't judge our meditation by the experience during the practice but by the results in our lives afterwards.  So, the key is to experiment with different techniques until you find one that suits you.  Roger's series is perfect for people new to meditation and walks you through a few different techniques.  

If you are out of work:

Although the landscape is very bleak at the moment, there are jobs out there to be found.  The difficulty though in the current climate is that the competition is fierce.  Because unemployment rates are so high the sheer quantity of applications for vacant positions is overwhelming to those doing the hiring. 

The first hurdle in a job search is just to get noticed.  Sending out blanket job applications is a surefire strategy to receive blanket rejection - and that will begin to knock your self confidence, the one thing you really need to nurture right now. 

If you're in the job market, you'll need to get a bit more creative about your approach and this article outlines many real-life examples of how people have gotten hired during the current recession.  Be sure to read the last two paragraphs too - they're important! 

 

Staying Positive

This Wall Street Journal article looks at the benefits of volunteering, not only for the feel-good factor of doing something worthwhile with your time, but also because of the opportunity to upskill and open yourself up to a potential new career. 

And here, Bob Lotich writes about how maintaining a positive attitude in the face of being laid off can help you find your next (maybe even better) job. 

Book Review

There is a spiritual solution to every problem by Wayne Dyer.

In this book Dyer takes a prayer by St Francis of Assisi and breaks it down into a series of lessons. He proposes that, if applied in your day to day life, these concepts will raise the vibration of your energy. What this means essentially, is that you'll live your life in closer relationship with your Spirit, and thereby find a spiritual solution to any issue that arises.

Dyer's own sense of inner peace pervades his writing, and he provides many, many practical examples from his own life and the lives of his readers as to how these principles really do provide solutions that you wouldn't logically expect.

The book is divided into two sections. The first provides an easy-to-grasp theoretical foundation to what it means and why it's important to align your energy with that of Spirit. Part two gives you the practical steps - how to align your energy with Spirit by following the principles outlined in St Francis' prayer.

Maybe you have some serious problems in your life right now, and maybe you don't. But one thing is for sure, you will have serious problems to deal with between now and the end of your days. That's a given. And our challenge in this life lies in how we deal with each issue that arises. Reading this book will (in my humble opinion) help you to prepare for, and cope with those challenges as and when they come up.

The prayer:

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

Where there is sadness, joy.

 

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

To be consoled as to console,

To be understood as to understand,

To be loved as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive;

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

It is in dying to self that we are born to eternal life. ~ Saint Francis of Assisi

 

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"Difficulty need not foreshadow despair or defeat. Rather achievement can be all the more satisfying because of obstacles surmounted." ~ William Hastie

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That's my round up of resources on surviving and thriving during difficult times.  Next issue (end July/early August) the theme will be self-esteem and giving it a work-out.

In the meantime, any other links to resources on dealing with difficult circumstances will be very welcome!

The A - Z of Happiness: C is for . . .

The Comparison trap (and not falling into it)

One way to decrease your happiness is to compare your life, or aspects of it, with that of others.  On the surface, there is always someone “better” off than us, and always someone “worse” off than us.  But when you fall into the comparison trap, chances are you usually end up focussing more on those who have more, rather than those who have less. And if you do that, envy will start to surface – to your own detriment.

All of reality is perception. Perceive your life from a positive angle and you cannot help feeling positive about it, and consequently you will feel happier than if you choose to take the pessimistic view.

Life is a game, and the results you get are a direct consequence of your thoughts, words and actions. You may not be able to control all the situations that arise in your life, but you are always in control of how you deal with them and what you make of them. If sometimes it doesn’t feel that way, it’s because you’re not consciously choosing your reaction, but you are choosing it nonetheless.

So, if you want to positively influence your happiness levels, stop putting yourself under pressure to do and have what everyone else does and has. Do it your own way and in your own time. When you look at another’s life from the outside, it can seem highly appealing, but being in it can be a whole different kettle of fish. What is fulfilling for one is not necessarily fulfilling for another.

The real trick is in discovering what is right for you. Take your time – it’s not a race. It takes as long as it takes, and along the way you’ll be discovering more about yourself, what makes you tick and what really brings you joy.

You could be surprised at where your true bliss lies. But if you follow the path of others you’ll be a lot less likely to stumble upon it.

 

Connection

 

A major source of unhappiness for many people is the feeling that they are alone in the world, and this isn’t necessarily a reflection of whether they are single or have a partner.  It stems from the illusion of separation that exists in the physical universe.

 

We all appear to be separate entities, but in fact we are all connected by an unseen energy field.  This connection applies to everything in our lives – not just what we consider to be other living physical beings, but apparently inanimate objects and also our experiences in life.  It is all one big energy field, and we are connected to everybody who appears in our life.

 

When you feel isolated and alone, remind yourself of this fact.  It is just an illusion and you are not alone.  When you reject the appearance of separation you open yourself up to experiencing the connection that is already there. 

 

Remind yourself that you are more than a physical body.  You are also a spiritual being and that on the spiritual level you are connected to everyone.  Then mentally send love and light to those in your life from whom you’re feeling disconnected.  When you send love – unconditionally – to others, you will receive love in return.  And with that your feeling of being alone will diminish.  You will begin to sense the connection that was there all the time.

 

Change your world

a Thought for the Week

"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."  ~  Wayne Dyer

 

"Fear less, hope more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Hate less, love more; And all good things are yours." ~ Swedish proverb 

 

"This life is yours. Take the power to choose what you want to do and do it well. Take the power to love what you want in life and love it honestly. Take the power to walk in the forest and be a part of nature. Take the power to control your own life. No one else can do it for you. Take the power to make your life happy." ~ Susan Polis Schutz 

 

photo by The Lizard Queen

Find the Good

a Thought for the Week

 

 

"Find the good.  It is all around you.  Find it.  Showcase it and you'll start believing it." ~ Jesse Owens

"Where there are friends there is wealth."  ~ Plautus

 

"If one really loves nature, one can find beauty everywhere."  ~  Vincent Van Gogh

 

"Not what we have, but what we enjoy, constitutes our abundance."  ~  Jean Antoine Petit-Senn 

 

Photo by KisKisbreeze

Today is the first day of the rest of your life

a Thought for the Week

"Every day is a new opportunity. You can build on yesterday's success or put its failures behind and start over again. That's the way life is, with a new game every day." ~ Bob Feller

"I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning." ~ J.B. Priestly

"Remember today, for it is the beginning of always. Today marks the start of a brave new future filled with all your dreams can hold. Think truly to the future and make those dreams come true." ~ Unknown 
 

"The future is always beginning now." ~ Mark Strand

 

photo by Jenny Downing

The A-Z of Happiness: B is for...

Being happy now

If there were a journey towards happiness where would it begin?  In my opinion, it begins with a decision: to stop postponing being happy until your life circumstances are just how you want them.

 

If you believe that you'll be happy when you get a better job, a raise, buy your own home, get married, have kids, or whatever it is that you'd like in your life, (and apologies if this sounds harsh, but) you are labouring under a false illusion. 

 

When you achieve something that you've wanted for a while you will feel "happy".  However, it is a temporary happiness that will last just as long as it takes for you to adjust to your new circumstances.  And it never takes long before a new desire comes along to replace the old one. 

 

That is perfectly normal, and provides you with a drive to move forward in life.  But as long as your happiness is associated with having what you want in your life, it will always be a little out of your reach or will be something you experience fleetingly here and there.

 

Wanting your life to be perfect before you allow yourself to be happy is setting yourself up for failure.  This model requires your health, your love life, your relationships with family and friends, your work, your finances, your home environment and your social life to all be ticking along just the way you want them to be - and all at the same time!   And if anything is off, then you won't be happy.

 

Being happy now comes from accepting all of what is right now (refer back to A is for...), even if it's not perfect, and not allowing the imperfections to get you down.  It requires letting go of your idea of how things should be and making peace with how things are.

 

Being happy now also requires letting go of feelings of guilt, shame or regret related to the past.  You can't go back and change that.  You can only learn from the experiences and with that learning do better now.

 

The past is over and done with and there is no guarantee that the future will arrive.  Both exist merely as thoughts - either as memories or anticipations.  Neither is real.  The only thing that is real is the present moment.

 

Which leads to the conclusion, that if you want to be happy, you need to be happy now - no matter what your life looks like right now.  That is your challenge in life - if you wish to accept it....

Beliefs

"Men often become what they believe themselves to be.  If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it.  But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn't have it in the beginning."   ~  Mahatma Gandhi

Your beliefs rule your life! 

If you want to be happier, first and foremost you need to believe that it's possible.  If you don't believe you can be happy now, without things being different in your life first, then you won't be happy now. 

Whatever you believe to be true will be true for you.  The reason for this is that your mind will filter everything it encounters, allowing those ideas and experiences that support your beliefs to be noticed, and disregarding those that don't.  Therefore, day in and day out, your mind finds evidence to support your beliefs about life, further compounding your beliefs as being true.  That is both good and bad news!

This is bad news because most of our beliefs we carry unconsciously.  But it is good news too because once you're aware of this you can pay attention and - get this - change them!!!  Yay, how empowering is that!

Beliefs are merely thoughts that we think repeatedly.  However, because we hold our beliefs to be truths, we elevate their status as more than mere thoughts, and that's what makes them very powerful.  And of course they are truths (the evidence of our lives supports this), BUT they are only our personal truths.  They couldn't possibly be universal, because all of mankind differs in their personal sets of beliefs.

And if beliefs aren't universal truths, but merely thoughts that we give power to, then it must be possible to change our beliefs that don't support us to more empowering ones that do.  (Hooray!!!)

To change your beliefs, you must change your thoughts.  Repeatedly and continuosly.  Like most of the tools that will be discussed in this series, the concept is simple but its successful application will require lots of practice.  But on the plus side, practice does make perfect and you will reap the rewards : )

The first step is to identify what your unconscious limiting beliefs are.  (Leave the positive ones alone - if they serve you well, no need to change them)  This is fairly easy to do: look at your life.  Whatever you see is a reflection of your beliefs. 

What do you see that you don't like?  What might be the underlying beliefs?  What circumstances would you prefer, and what empowering beliefs would support you in achieving that?

Now write down those new empowering beliefs, and repeat them (out loud if you can, but silently works too) several times whenever you catch yourself thinking thoughts that don't support what you want.  Essentially, you'll be using affirmations (again, refer back to A is for ...) to try on your desired beliefs until they start to feel like your own, until they become as integrated into your way of being as the old ones used to be.

Practiced consciously and regularly, affirmations can help to shift limiting beliefs and install more empowering ones.  Sadly, this might not be enough.  You may need to enlist the help of a life coach or spiritual healer to help shift some of the more deeply ingrained beliefs that are holding you back.  But make a start yourself, and see how far you get. 

Whatever you do, do something about the beliefs that aren't aligned with how you really want to live your life.  Believing you can have what you want is absolutely essential to having it.

Believe you can be happy now, even if right now your life isn't perfect, and you are setting yourself up for success : )

 Doing your Best

In his guide to personal freedom, Don Miguel Ruez outlines Four Agreements which can have a profound effect on your life if practriced consistently.  One of them is "Do your best".

"Just do your best — in any circumstance in your life.  It doesn’t matter if you are sick or tired, if you always do your best there is no way you can judge yourself.  And if you don’t judge yourself there is no way you are going to suffer from guilt, blame, and self-punishment.  By always doing your best, you will break a big spell that you have been under.”

Doing your best will increase your happiness because you can't help but feel good about yourself when you know you've done a good job.  When you do less than your best, even if others are satisfied or impressed by your work, you don't have the same level of inner satisfaction.  When you secretly know that you could be doing so much more than you are doing, there's a big chance it's going to quietly eat away at you inside.

In doing your best you actively contribute to your own healthy sense of self-worth.  In a nutshell, you will respect yourself more.  You will value your own contribution and what's more, you will accept other's appreciation of your work - in knowing you deserve it, their respect and admiration will ring true to you and it will strengthen your own inner sense of respect.

Self respect and self esteem.  Inner states of being.  Just like happiness : )  They all go hand-in-hand. 

Doing your best can't help but lead to a happier you!